February 2009
12 posts
oscars 09
me: ahahahaha brad and angelina are going home with NOTHING, NADA, ZIP.
janazen: theyll probably go home with one of those indian
kids
(via yeachum)
Feb 23rd
347 notes
Feb 18th
Feb 17th
Feb 11th
6. Uses abbreviations like 'u' and '2'.
emmyjean: iveneverheardofyou: The girls and I are making Deal Breaker lists. It’s awesome. What are yours? Making a nasty comment about another woman in front of me, like “she’s such a slut/fatty/bitch.”  It makes me wonder what unkind things you’ll someday say about me. Men who don’t use their manners or are picky eaters.  Picky eaters lack adventure and maturity; I truly believe that.
Feb 10th
WatchWatch
I think the day is not complete if I don’t have a little cry before 9.30 am.
Feb 10th
Objectum Sexuality →
I fell on the corner of a diving board when I was 7. I imagine this is what screwing a fence feels like. IE NOT PLEASANT
Feb 9th
WatchWatch
iveneverheardofyou: Grammys: Jay-Z and T.I. ft. Lil Wayne & Kanye West w/ M.I.A. - “Swagga Like Us” (via until, ajessica, thedailywhat, via) Um, I love MIA.
Feb 9th
WatchWatch
emmyjean: This makes me happy in so many embarrassing ways. Oh, EJ, me too, baby.  ME TOO.
Feb 5th
2 notes
Ahem
me: ps
emailed you about my vagina
Rachael: thanks toots
there's a sentence i haven't heard yet today
Feb 4th
Feb 4th
Now Is the Time
…to just trust yourself and your instincts.  Come on Lem, keep it together.
Feb 2nd
January 2009
12 posts
Jan 28th
The Conversation in Which Betty Tells Me Her Dog...
Betty: i just talked to the vet
i could not stop laughing lem
and the vet was laughing right along with me
me: wtf
so...is he getting tested
is it anonymous?
Betty: LOL
me: holy shit
im dying
Betty: i KNOW
i am about to pee my pants
me: this is insane
what are you gonna do
regular paps?
have a talk?
Betty: LMAO
me: teach the dog to value itself
that every time it loves another dog it gives away a piece of its heart
Betty: JEEBUS
and jason is so pissed at me
he doesn't see the humor
me: what? is it your job to teach the dog self respect?
im sorry...I really need to stop
Betty: omg
betty stop
this is why i can't have kids
i would laugh at my daughter
if she came home with the herp
Jan 27th
Jan 27th
Buy ShamWow, Kill Scientology →
Buy a slapchop while you are at it.
Jan 27th
sassE: Don't forget the SAGs tonight.
Me: The DUGGAR WEDDING IS ON, sass.
Jan 26th
Jan 21st
Me: Holy moly, did you see this?!
Coworker: The peanut butter cracker recall!!!
Me: No, the plane that crashed in the Hudson.
Coworker: Yeah, well there is that...but I just ate a packet of peanut butter crackers.
Jan 15th
Jan 14th
Jan 12th
Crap Blog From A Dude: Highly Evolved He-Man... →
I am not going to comment on this.
Jan 6th
How to Make Deep Fried Cupcakes  →
Stop the madness!
Jan 5th
Jan 2nd
December 2008
15 posts
2008
Well, it was hard.  Really hard. But, I feel old saying this…God I do…but, I think I learned more this year than any other year. Not all was lost.
Dec 31st
Dec 29th
Thunk
I need to star saving money…for real. I bought groceries for my parents twice this trip. How am I old enough to be the safety net?
Dec 29th
Dec 17th
Dec 15th
“Send him some testicles for Christmas and say “I know these aren’t...”
– Rach
Dec 10th
Illinois governor taken into custody →
Nothing surprises me anymore.
Dec 9th
I am in a MOOD
I want to yell at someone. Or cry. Possibly both.
Dec 8th
Fran Drescher Wants to Replace Hillary Clinton in... →
I love Nanny Fine more than should be legal, but I think this is going a touch too far.
Dec 8th
Watch the Duggars Welcome Baby No. 18 on Live TV!  →
This country frightens me sometimes.
Dec 4th
Dec 3rd
WatchWatch
This is mother fucking magic. iveneverheardofyou: PROP 8: THE MUSICAL. <3 <3 <3 <3
Dec 3rd
Dec 2nd
Dec 1st
Doctors don't know why my legs are getting bigger  →
One for the “It could always be worse” files.
Dec 1st
November 2008
28 posts
Miami judge rules against Fla. gay adoption ban →
Something to be thankful for.
Nov 25th
26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To... →
Thank God I have managed to avoid just this.  (Thanks, B)
Nov 25th
Nov 24th
For the LOVE OF CHRIST
Senator Bunning just used to words “honest” and “Ted Stevens” together.
Nov 20th
Let me google that for you →
Genius.  The next time someone asks me something ridiculous, this is what they are getting.
Nov 19th
Nov 19th
Lieberman keeps Homeland Security post →
This, right here, is some bullshit.
Nov 18th
Please accept this spider as payment →
Seriously, I love the internet SO MUCH.
Nov 17th
Nov 17th
The 'Pregnant Man' Is Expecting Again  →
Nov 13th
“Holy shit, if i could somehow cast a spell so that my fried rice assumed human...”
– a jane doe
Nov 12th