It's Hard Being a Free Spirit with a Guilt Complex: Archive

oscars 09

me: ahahahaha brad and angelina are going home with NOTHING, NADA, ZIP.
janazen: theyll probably go home with one of those indian
  kids
 (via yeachum)

Feb 23rd

347 notes

Feb 18th

Feb 17th

Feb 11th

6. Uses abbreviations like 'u' and '2'.

emmyjean: iveneverheardofyou: The girls and I are making Deal Breaker lists. It’s awesome. What are yours? Making a nasty comment about another woman in front of me, like “she’s such a slut/fatty/bitch.” It makes me wonder what unkind things you’ll someday say about me. Men who don’t use their manners or are picky eaters. Picky eaters lack adventure and maturity; I truly believe that.

Feb 10th

Watch

I think the day is not complete if I don’t have a little cry before 9.30 am.

Feb 10th

Objectum Sexuality →

I fell on the corner of a diving board when I was 7. I imagine this is what screwing a fence feels like. IE NOT PLEASANT

Feb 9th

Watch

iveneverheardofyou: Grammys: Jay-Z and T.I. ft. Lil Wayne & Kanye West w/ M.I.A. - “Swagga Like Us” (via until, ajessica, thedailywhat, via) Um, I love MIA.

Feb 9th

Watch

emmyjean: This makes me happy in so many embarrassing ways. Oh, EJ, me too, baby. ME TOO.

Feb 5th

2 notes

Ahem

me: ps
 emailed you about my vagina
Rachael: thanks toots
 there's a sentence i haven't heard yet today

Feb 4th

Now Is the Time

…to just trust yourself and your instincts. Come on Lem, keep it together.

Feb 2nd

Jan 28th

The Conversation in Which Betty Tells Me Her Dog...

Betty: i just talked to the vet
 i could not stop laughing lem
 and the vet was laughing right along with me
me: wtf
 so...is he getting tested
 is it anonymous?
Betty: LOL
me: holy shit
 im dying
Betty: i KNOW
 i am about to pee my pants
me: this is insane
 what are you gonna do
 regular paps?
 have a talk?
Betty: LMAO
me: teach the dog to value itself
 that every time it loves another dog it gives away a piece of its heart
Betty: JEEBUS
 and jason is so pissed at me
 he doesn't see the humor
me: what? is it your job to teach the dog self respect?
 im sorry...I really need to stop
Betty: omg
 betty stop
 this is why i can't have kids
 i would laugh at my daughter
 if she came home with the herp

Jan 27th

Buy ShamWow, Kill Scientology →

Buy a slapchop while you are at it.

Jan 27th

sassE: Don't forget the SAGs tonight.

Me: The DUGGAR WEDDING IS ON, sass.

Jan 26th

Jan 21st

Me: Holy moly, did you see this?!
Coworker: The peanut butter cracker recall!!!
Me: No, the plane that crashed in the Hudson.
Coworker: Yeah, well there is that...but I just ate a packet of peanut butter crackers.

Jan 15th

Jan 14th

Jan 12th

Crap Blog From A Dude: Highly Evolved He-Man... →

I am not going to comment on this.

Jan 6th

How to Make Deep Fried Cupcakes →

Stop the madness!

Jan 5th

Jan 2nd

2008

Well, it was hard. Really hard. But, I feel old saying this…God I do…but, I think I learned more this year than any other year. Not all was lost.

Dec 31st

Dec 29th

Thunk

I need to star saving money…for real. I bought groceries for my parents twice this trip. How am I old enough to be the safety net?

Dec 29th

Dec 17th

Dec 15th

“Send him some testicles for Christmas and say “I know these aren’t...”

– Rach

Dec 10th

Illinois governor taken into custody →

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Dec 9th

I am in a MOOD

I want to yell at someone. Or cry. Possibly both.

Dec 8th

Fran Drescher Wants to Replace Hillary Clinton in... →

I love Nanny Fine more than should be legal, but I think this is going a touch too far.

Dec 8th

Watch the Duggars Welcome Baby No. 18 on Live TV! →

This country frightens me sometimes.

Dec 4th

Dec 3rd

Watch

This is mother fucking magic. iveneverheardofyou: PROP 8: THE MUSICAL. <3 <3 <3 <3

Dec 3rd

Dec 2nd

Dec 1st

Doctors don't know why my legs are getting bigger →

One for the “It could always be worse” files.

Dec 1st

Miami judge rules against Fla. gay adoption ban →

Something to be thankful for.

Nov 25th

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To... →

Thank God I have managed to avoid just this. (Thanks, B)

Nov 25th

Nov 24th

For the LOVE OF CHRIST

Senator Bunning just used to words “honest” and “Ted Stevens” together.

Nov 20th

Let me google that for you →

Genius. The next time someone asks me something ridiculous, this is what they are getting.

Nov 19th

Lieberman keeps Homeland Security post →

This, right here, is some bullshit.

Nov 18th

Please accept this spider as payment →

Seriously, I love the internet SO MUCH.

Nov 17th

The 'Pregnant Man' Is Expecting Again →

Nov 13th

“Holy shit, if i could somehow cast a spell so that my fried rice assumed human...”

– a jane doe

Nov 12th